Textous

Lord Kelvin's Guide to Titles and Summaries

2010-02-03T03:18:00.001-08:00

I've been meaning to write this for a while, but the public's expectations and wishes kept changing. At first, I wanted to compose a little schematic for various reader types because different readers require different summaries. Though, this version will be different.

This guide is targeted at mainstream naming and summarising for stories on Fan Fiction dot Net to maximise one's hit count. I don't promise you'll get extra reviews, for people review chapters; however, the extra visitors I guarantee. It has been tested both by my colleagues and myself.

Here is the outline:

1. Basic steps to Your title
2. Advanced steps to Your title

3. Summarising Your fiction
4. Making the attractive summary + common mistakes

Let's begin.

1. Basic steps to Your title

Most people write a story and put up a title several seconds before posting. That is wrong. Why? It leaves little room for imagination, and a title can end up a cliche that several other posts have. Besides that, the title tends to be too long when writing this way. Let's illustrate with a small example.

You wrote a story about 'Barack Obama visiting an American-owned hot dog factory in South Korea.' What's the name you are more likely to staple on it? Basically, you rewrite the sentence in single quotation marks. Or a slightly shorter version without 'American-owned' and 'in South Korea'. So we have 'Barack Obama's Visit to a Hot Dog Factory'. The final version is the best stylistically.

Here's the problem: 20 other people named their articles the same way. D'oh, your originality is down the tube and you are a part of the mass. All right, being average and insignificant isn't that bad. Why? Some stories are inspired by other stories and want to appear like their idols in hope that some of the idol's fans will read the permitted ripoff version. For creative writing, it could be also the issue for topics. Take the gender bender issue, where some device makes guys into gals and vice versa. Or the ever-so-popular rewrite of an original work 'my way'. You appeal to a small audience this way and will get readers just because the topic is their fave. Not because your story is awesome. In fact, the story itself has so little influence when you make it with a topic, you appeal to core supporters that don't even see the creative writing as such. They just look at how you portray their favourite plot device and that's it.

All right. We have that a title should not be made seconds before submission. What about the semi-professional idea of making a title before you start writing? I call it semi-professional because it doesn't always work. In printed media, you have some safeguards, but in cursive it's more or less silly. Here's the thing: most writers that require this guide do not plan ahead far enough to make the title stable. Changing the title is a bad idea. Readers don't see the old title and assume that story is gone. So the readers are gone. Sure, if your current version sucks, be sure to change it, but there is always a risk. Now, if you have it all planned out and are positive you know the story's topic, main idea and fun stuff, by all means, the naming of a story before you write approach is good. You have a lot of freedom, and you can use the title within the story to have some mighty deep meaning. Besides, this way you may use more time on actual visual value of the presentation in the title.

The third approach is making a title while you're in the middle of writing. But that works if you have several chapters of an epic done, or half of a one-shot. The biggest perk of this method is that you know what's the writing like already and if you think about the title as related to the story, you have some bystander thoughts. You think about the story and things you write, so you may accidentally come up with a fantastic title that is actually a phrase already present in the story. For the mainstream public, this is the best way of gathering titular ideas and assuring they are stable throughout the posting experience. Now, if you have one chapter done and the story has sixty chapters in planning, and you have no idea what should happen...you're an idiot and I can't help you with a relevant title. Planning is necessary at all times, at least for an outline. Sure, this approach requires a lot less detail kept in mind than the second variant, but still.

Let's summarise the methods:

Title after writing a story
Perks:
-subject clarity
-title stability
Weaknesses:
-lack of creative time
-wordiness

Title before writing a story
Perks:
-complete freedom
-time to think of originality
Weaknesses:
-immense planning required
-may require change later

Title while writing a story
Perks:
-partial freedom
-subject clarity
-time to think of originality
-stability
Weaknesses:
-some planning required

Now that we have covered the methods, time for the actual naming process. You want not just any title, but an original title at that. What do you do? You make two to four titles up in your head. Write them down! Then you use the FFN search engine to see: how many people used this title before; how many people in Your section used this title before. If the first is 3 and the second is 0, you can use the title. But if you have things like 121 and 17, it's risky to be a part of the mass. And if you have 121 and 89, you are going to be an insignificant insect no different than the rest. Scrap that title, repeat until perfect.

Say you have both titles fully original, the scores are : 0 and 0 on both searched titles. Wonderful! Just two steps away before posting. Check the length of the title. Anything above six words is bound to bomb. Anything below one will be a lulzy attempt. Personally, I'd suggest using one to four. How come? One-word titles are good because they stand out between cliches. Say, you see stories named 'Love' and 'Friendliness' in the section. Boring. You name your story 'Fluger' or 'Killjoy' and voila. Two word combos count for better results 'Fluger Killjoy'. Three words 'Fluger of Killjoy'. By the way, the 'X of Y' is a lame way of naming a story. Too many people can do that. When we go into four word territory, you have more room for original wording and creativity. However, the danger of adding unnecessary words appears. One awful thing to do is adding 'The' to a title. Do not add 'The' as the first word! Be sure to appraise your need for length. Readers have an attention span.

Now you can do the testing trial. You're an author, a weird creative git that doesn't know how the world functions. Readers are different. They're normal and average. You just might not have the perspective to pick the best title on your own (unless you're cocky), so you need help. Find some sucker in the cycle of your friends or grab a few (not one!!!) betas. Give them the title variants and may the winner stand up. By the way, be sure to do it minutes before actually posting the story for quick voting. Why? People might steal your title and pretend they made it.

Now you're ready to view the advanced tips!

2. Advanced steps to Your title

Remember the example with Obama? Good! We'll be working it out until it's all flashy and unreal. Here's the initial version: 'Barack Obama visiting an American-owned hot dog factory in South Korea.'

We shorten it into: 'Obama Visits Hot Dog Factory'. Basically, that's a good title, but we need a juicy one. How do we juice it up?

Here is the juice list:

-exaggerate
-stun
-use emotional words
-make neologisms
-form original interpretations
-use controversy
-present contrast

Not all of these tricks are ethical. No. Not all of them will provide the realistic essence of your story either. However, they will hook up some readers and get you page hits. Before you start mangling the words, I suggest finding some parts in your story that would be of interest. In our case, we have several attention points: the president, the fact the factory is owned by Americans, hot dogs themselves, the visit being South Korea, not North. These are your focal points. Use them depending on what the audience would take with greater interest.

The available mixes are nearly limitless. For instance we take the president, and the American factory in Korea: 'Obama Dines American in Korea'. We take the American factory, and hot dogs: 'American Food in Korea'. Use South, not North Korea, with American factory: 'Korean Jealousy: Our Hot Dogs'. You see how far we went from the actual article without going off topic? Let's go further!

Aim for stunning: 'Korean Dogs as Food', 'Obama: Nutritiously Korean'.

And my personal favourite, controversy: 'Obama Eats Dog'. Voila! See how we went from a dull title to something of a flashy interest shark? If your audience is younger (you write K), just add a cutesy emotional word: 'Obama Warms Puppies'.

The key is not overdoing it. FFN has strict rules about titles. Words such as: sex, incest, rape, nude (and synonyms), any type of foul language and similar items are forbidden in titles and summaries.

If you manage to float without such expressions, your title should be victorious in the updates board. Though, this is a general statement. Every genre (Romance, Drama, Adventure) has a different type of requirement for emotional output. Therefore, you have to pick particular words that have a specific ring and outlook. The longer the word (stuck-stumped-confused-bewildered), the more complex your story will look, and the higher the rating it would represent. Using long words in a title gives a story the air of maturity and shows the reader would have to think while reading. It fits for M stories, but a K would just lose the majority of readers for being too needy. It works backwards, too. Mislabeling your story with a 'scary' title when you mean to be funny will confuse readers even more. Below, I have included a list of qualities a particular topic would find proper and example words that would currently suit readers. You may be unable to meet all requirements, but if you have one, the word fits in your title. All of them are for the default T-rated story.

Genre - Qualities - Verbal texture - Examples

Romance: pleasure, sexual identity, touching. Soft sound, diminutives. Examples: warmth, motherly, snuggle
Humour: energy, satire, smiling. Brief and loud.
Drama: depth, fatality, suffering epic. Serious, fluent. Examples: ardent, final, soul.
Horror: shock, dread, mystery. Jagged sound, tense. Examples: struggle, razed, omen, vicious.
Parody: satire, cynicism. Short and loud or shrewd.
Spiritual: depth, belief. Peaceful, fluent. Examples: heaven, meaning, river, dream.
Family: social identity, stability. Peaceful, soft sound. Examples: daughter, return, easter
Sci-fi: science, intellect, future. Sophisticated, emotionless. Examples: stratum, entropy, expansion.

With that, we trot over to the more complex part of the writing process: making a summary.

3. Summarising Your fiction

Personally, figuring out a good title is harder than a summary. Most people have problems with the latter for reasons unknown. I'm guessing because it's more difficult to remember what's a whole story about while staying relevant.

If the title gave you relative freedom in what label you wanted to pick for a work of fiction, summaries offer more restraints than rights.

Let's cover the basics. The summary has a character limit. 254 symbols. How much is that in text? A lot. If we include all the necessary punctuation, you can write the word 'awesome' 28 times. That makes up three and a half lines in the default MS Word document. For a commercial summary that is directed to people with a short attention span, that is waaay too long. If your reader is too bored to get to the end of the summary, he or she waves goodbye.

That's why I suggest working with no more than three quarters of the space. It leaves you with a max of 200 symbols and lots of 'awesome'.

Now, unlike a story title, a summary has different specs for the time of writing. I suggest writing the summary when the story is finished. You'll know everything in your story, and won't need to change the abstract later on. However, you can change it freely anytime you want. Just that it's best to have a proper one when you start posting. The deal is to hook as many readers so that the word is spread about a new, not ancient fiction. That's why you shouldn't be very fond of having to change the summary and improve it constantly as the posts grow in numbers: what you haven't gotten with the lift off, you won't compensate with a landing.

And now is a good time to actually imagine what elements have to be present in a good summary. The word is summary, not summery. Weather is summery. Looking at a story, no matter what the plot, you need to mention the character. Add the setting name, where most of the plot would take place. Poke in some drama and/or conflict. The story does bring change as it goes from point A to point B, so you must show why the plot does that. Finish off with a treat, something the reader would consider important.

We have the basic elements. Now we have to word them out. How? KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid. A complicated summary that has semi-colons, run-ons, too much punctuation, too many words, too long words is bound to fail. Adding too much detail, especially adverbs, is sinful. You'll run out if space. Adverbs tend to be the longest words, too (take lackadaisically).

Alright, we reach the step when we are ready to formulate an actual summary and create interest. We have a batch of elements and several ways of putting them into the mix: general and specific. The general way is excluding names or additional hints as to what is being mentioned. Use it when you are going to risk losing readers otherwise. The criteria are very simple: popularity and acceptability. If a particular detail is considered hip in the fandom, use the specific method.

Example: You're writing about a character named Bob. He's 27, a journalist. If the fandom likes Bob and knows him, write his name. If they don't know him, do not write his name. If they do not like him, do not write his name or age, or sex, or location. Just leave the mention that you're writing about a journalist. See the big picture? Good.

Let's do a small schematic. We'll have a summary element, how to put it when they are preferred by the fans, and how to conceal the importance of that element in your plot without offending/repulsing any readers from clicking the story. Bear in mind that this is for the occasion when your summary MUST have a particular mention of the summary part. It's a lot easier to concentrate on what fans will like than work around differences. When your story is set in two places, say, a graveyard (for 18 chapters) and a palace (for 2 chapters), the fandom being small daydreaming kids, you mention that it takes place in a palace/mansion/castle. Not the graveyard. This way, you will tease them up to the actual daydream palace scenes and make them hope for the good parts to come soon. If you mention a graveyard, there is no hope to start with.

Element :------------------: liked and known :--------------: disliked and/or unknown

Character :----------------: most notable name :------------: gender, profession, character trait

Location :-----------------: most notable name :------------: replace with other locations, setting's trait

Conflict :-----------------: name the conflict :------------: time expressions, euphemisms

Teaser :-------------------: promise change :---------------: promise stability

Now let's do an example with two extremes. Here are your keys: Bob, graveyard, Zimbabwe, genocide, returning home.

Fans like everything:

Bob is scavenging for data in a desolate Zimbabwe village. Graves of genocide victims are his only companions. He wants to return home, but fears he won't make it alive.

Fans dislike everything:

Journalism brings him to the lush tropical forest. Trouble arises, but the noble man has to survive to be reunited with his true love.

That's the same story. Provided there is a forest in Zimbabwe to be found and you mention its beauty, the second summary works with 100% truthfulness. If not, find a cool-looking element, or replace 'lush tropical forest' with 'hot spot environment'.

Basic recommendations end here. The fourth point covers more elaborate summarising techniques.

4. Making the attractive summary + common mistakes

There are many ways to make a summary, really. From extra relevant general outlines of what happens to detailing of a particular fun story event, or even posting something completely outlandish barely related to the story at all. These three work well. Not always, but they spark attention.

You can easily assume that the more general you are, the less readers will be amazed by the summary. Tips for titles can be applied here for the sparkle factor. Stun them with emotional words. I used some in Bob's example.

Bob is scavenging for data in a desolate Zimbabwe village. Graves of genocide victims are his only companions. He wants to return home, but fears he won't make it alive.

Quite a few, huh? Every word not solely related to the basic elements (any extra) can either be a ballast or lifting force. The negativity carried by words such as 'desolate' or 'victims' brings images to the readers' minds and makes them imagine the story before it even begins. When we add contrast with 'only companion' for loneliness and 'home' for safety, empathy becomes an issue. When your reader gets empathic with the written text, you win. Same applies when controversy or wordplay is involved.

Let's say you're writing about Bob's trip to a drug factory. What puns can you make? Druggies, love pills, mad scientists, sniffing, nuts and medical balls. Readers tend to be primitive. Any controversial bait works on them. Except disgust. I've found readers particularly repulsed when 'phlegm' and 'starvation' appeared in a summary. No idea why. Probably the major audience was sensitive. Yes, I do have an idea in that case. See how a mundane thought becomes food for...you finish it. And make the reader finish your sentences: "Yes, I can relate to that! The author wrote this exactly for me!"

Puns on political correctness and homonyms are the easiest to make, and work best. I'm going to bet some of you already saw a 'homo' in the word 'homonym'. Some of you could have seen 'testicles' in the word 'nuts' and 'balls' while I used the first to describe an ingredient in a pill, and the second for a particular capsule's shape. Fish oil capsules tend to be like that. Creating purposeful misunderstandings can offer you a field advantage.

Just don't misunderestimate them. That's a Bushism, and a funny word. Funny words are awesome. Especially diminutives and everything similar to 'squee'. Try writing 'gleeful', 'putty', 'schnitzel', 'druggie' or 'pokey'. All of them have texture that brings amusement to a younger reader's face. Texture, pronunciation of every word is a particular tool for generating added value.

Vowels tend to work for romance and sex. Likewise do soft sounds. When your summary is sultry or lovely as a swan, you can't lose even if you have grizzlies and terrorists inside. See how that sentence changed pace and tone after the comma? Do not mix sounds when you create harmony. They are evil. Such deeds forbid readers to actually read the thing in proper tone the first time. Second times are not that often in the business, so yeah.

The word 'horror' is horrendous, terrible and treacherous, but not cunning or oblong. Semantics help you out with similar sounds, not just meanings. Now you have two examples to work with, the soft side, and the hard edgy half.

If you master these arts, you're in for a thrilling ride on a bountiful roller coaster of magnificent lexis. The last one means 'word' and does not fit in the sentence. Those who noticed can move on to actual mistakes.

MISTAKES

You are not to write any of these in a summary, or title.

Let's start with expressions that define weakness and do not relate to the story, just taking up expensive space.

"FIRST STORY!" is a proverbial overcapitalised "Kick me" sign that brings vultures in.

"I CUNT SUMMARISE" any errors in spelling, punctuation and English will be smacked down by every willing critic.

"Better summery inside" see above and an author is supposed to know how to summarise. It's a basic skill that gives us a promising story.

"NO FLAMES" works with reverse psychology. Backwards results.

"Constructive criticism accepted" doesn't work at all. Authors accept it by default. Besides, chances are 'criticism' would be misspelled.

Expressions of greed

"R&R" is a classic mite that burrows under one's skin. It's called review whoring and is not an acceptable practice in decent writer circles. You don't beg in a summary. You may ask in some note somewhere, but you use proper English. The fact one abbreviates such petitions to lingo is disgraceful to the reader.

"Send me ideas lol" is a weakness, but is usually an attention hog tactic to farm more reviews from people that like seeing themselves accepted. Such pseudowriters appeal to individuals that are usually shunned, and hope for appearing in someone's work of art for gloating rights. It's exploiting one's audience. A real respectful author would not ask for anything in a summary. It's low to ask FOR something. Rhetorical questions are welcome.

Arrogance

"This is a good story!" irritates many a person. Self-praise voids a reader's feeling of goodness. Why would I praise a fiction the author knows is good? Sort of, repeating something uselessly. Besides, if I disagree, the opinion will be shunned because 'This is a good story'.

"You've never read anything like it!" see above.

"He came to her and said: 'Marry me, or I will kill Bob.'" comes off as arrogant because quotations rarely summarise anything. They are taken out from some chapter (usually carelessly) and the writer expects us to believe that one quote makes them worth a shot. False.

"I'm back! I updated!" presents another issue. Nobody cares about You as a writer. People come for the story, not Author the Magnificent. It's pretentiousness, really. Especially in a summary.

"Chapter 25 up!" also discourages from reading. I have eyes. I can see how many chapters are posted, and reminding me of it is wasteful and annoying. Also, it shows how much the author is in love with a particular part, making me wish the two found a room while I weep over 24 shunned chapters.

"Do not read this. Ever." also does not summarise anything. It's quite unethical, actually. The author offers absolutely no information about the story; thus, disrespects the reader. Also, reverse psychology is a pretty nasty thing to offer a reader. Just like "This story sucks! Hahaha!" is an outright attack on proper authorship. The problem here is that the author may be a troll, and any review would be used as mockery material.

Unnecessary information

"Rated T for violence" again, I can read. T usually makes me expect some violence if I assume the writer knew how to rate a story properly. Just wasting space.

"The rating may change" same as above. Never considered this important. Building expectations, maybe, but if the author is unsure about what's the real rating, how can anyone be sure the story is worth reading?

"Used to be called Story Y" is a pathetic attempt to remind readers the title changed. Useless information, really. Those that care will find the author alert. Those that don't, will consider it's a new story. Consequences.

"One-shot" is not that bad, actually. Just that we can see 'complete' in such stories, so it wastes space.

Deadly sins:

1. OCxOC
2. Songfic
3. Rewrite
4. Sequel
5. OOC
6. Randomness
7. Self-insert

All of these scare readers like the plague. The first one is deadliest. Readers hate mentions of OCs that they never knew about. Mentioning that you have original characters in a story is disgraceful. If a summary depicts the most important parts of a fiction, and an original character is one of them, fan fiction is contrived. Non-fan.

The second applies for all rule-breaking entries. Illegal stories aren't worth your attention because they will be removed and all reviews will disappear. Besides, songfics have lots of plagiarised lyrics, so reading them is boring. No added value.

When a fan rewrites the original, results are boring and predictable. Sure, it may have a small glitch here and spark there, but it does not compensate for the lack of creativity.

Sequels/prequels are hardly worth it. Only fans of existing stories will consider the story interesting. New readers will just expect to be alienated by too many novelties. It's best to write that in chapter one, or add the marker when the story is already finished. During production, it reduces hit counts.

OOC is a fan spirit lacking notification. The author didn't care to keep characters in-character, so the story is bound to be carelessly written. That's what the word in a summary makes readers expect.

Randomness, like OOC tags shows no plot or effort to keep up with a plot. Not a definition of quality writing.

Self-insert depicts arrogance. Like OCs, making the author one of the characters worth mentioning in a story discourages readers. I do not discourage self-insert fictions on FFN in general, just using the word/phrase in the integral part of the summary.

In fact, I do not discourage any type of legal fiction on the site. What matters is that the author manages to present the fiction in an attractive manner and is capable of operating the included plot points. As long as the issues above are dodged, anything is possible. However, should the author feel uncertain about his or her ability to suppress reader dislike for particular details, the above rules surely apply. Naturally, as a list of suggestions for mainstream writing.

Do consider telling me whether the guide was helpful. It's not a story, so no reviews can be present. PMs work nicely, though.

Have a nice, abuse-free day.

Format

2009-07-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

Hi, readers!

I've gotten a petition to revive my essays on English in a more colourful way. Fair enough. Let's cut to the chase with something important and actual: structure and format. I won't bother looking at modern English textbooks, because I've bothered to do that a few years back and wasted my time. Below you'll see real live examples of stories with improper characteristics.

Here is the schematic. The first four parts speak about more basic issues and how to format text on your screen. The fifth covers hectic details about small parts and creating paragraphs. This essay does NOT cover present tense writing.

1. Block
2. Centred
3. Mushroom Cloud
4. Chat

5. Dialogue
6. Thoughts.

1. So we begin with the block, otherwise known as the brick. This is a style that, well, lacks style. The text is not formated and it looks this way.

This occurs only when the author copies text from an unwelcome source or writes like a Pokemon. Text is a continuous single line without any divisions. Reading such stories is not recommended, because the uploading author clearly does not revise text after it has been uploaded. How to prevent it?

-Make sure you do not copy large pieces of text from other sources.
-Always preview your work before publishing.

A less extreme block. The author has revised the text, but simply doesn't know what to do with it. Honestly, I don't know why some people upload it this way. Maybe they feel sexy when their eyes pop up bloody red?

2. Centred. This is my favourite error. Bear in mind that the following commentary is not suitable for poetry. For poets, I suggest always suggest aligning text in the middle of the screen, as lines are short. Prose writers, move along.

This is a small example. And a larger instance. The problem with centred alignment is that it creates the Z effect. Lines are generally long, and this style requires the readers' eyes to travel a great distance to find first the end of one line and then the beginning of the next. It makes reading the story much more difficult and the audience pays less attention to the text. It is officially unrecommended for prose.

Very little effective prevention methods are known to counter this error:

-Align prose to the left. No exceptions.

3. The Mushroom Cloud is a funny format that I hadn't recognised until recently. You can also call it The Anvil for being a certain drop for your head. It seems to be a problem of many authors that excelled in academic writing. Like in this case. Though, it can also be an issue for those that are unable to describe things properly. Here's one example.

What's the problem, you ask? Simple as always. Text usually starts with enormous explanations of dull events. Often, it is philosophy without any events at all. You can find this to be the generic introduction to many high school essays with a general and detailed initial paragraphs. Both are a huge mental load and offer no hook for the story. There is nothing wrong if an author decides to make some psychical self-analysis of the main protagonist. It might be interesting. The real problem appears when the story begins from afar. In fact, the introduction seems so unrelated to fun, readers run away.

Another typical trait of this style is that after the initial anvil drop and brain damage, paragraphs turn anorexic and the author proves him or herself to be inept with handling dialogue, thus creating the mushroom's stalk.

How to dodge your story becoming this way?

-Preview your chapters to see the visual structure.
-Don't start with overly-elaborate descriptions of loosely-related pseudo-events.

4. A truly hideous format for prose is chat. Things typical to this format are: excessive dialogue, scanty narration, bad grammar, low detail level, the screen looks half-empty.

Here is an example. Mind you, because script format is forbidden, it's not included in the explanation.

As you read, you can draw a line to see how little is filled with text. This is typical to authors that used to write in chat format on DeviantArt and try to convert to prose, but fail. Why is it bad? Speech is not even half of information we receive in life. If everything in prose is speech, other senses are excluded. Consequently, it's assumable the characters do not see and can't make subtle movements.

Narration in such entries is very coarse. Usually, it only includes movement from point A to point B and only a major action, like blowing up a building. The author leaves no room for expressing feelings (not emotions) or anything beyond the obvious.

Prevention:

-Keep a steady proportion of narration and dialogue.
-Don't make your characters speak more than it is needed.
-Bear in mind that the reader loves colours! Let your story be a varied adventure.

That mentioned, I've spotted some mutations and mixes of faulty style. For example, this is a mix of Mushroom Cloud and Chat.

5. Dialogue. Now we reach a part that can be informative to someone who already wrote their first story. How to format dialogue properly?

There are numerous tiny rules and gadgets that one can stumble upon when writing.

a) Paragraphs.
b) Comments.
c) Punctuation.
d) Capitalisation.

Every example above had some fault in making proper dialogue. Let's take a random piece of dialogue from an unrelated story.

""Oh no, time to get away!" Eggman cried as he went aboard his hover seat, running away from the all powerful hedgehog, though he followed after him. They chased him across the ship destroying it bit by bit as well. Eggman could put up as many walls as he could, but Super Sonic burst through them like they were paper. After minutes of chasing, the force of an explosion caused Eggman to fall out of his hover seat, hitting the steel floor in a giant room. Super Sonic entered the room, and levitated down, letting Amy hop off him, staring at the doctor. "S-sonic, Amy!" Eggman stuttered. Amy glared at him, tightening the grip on her hammer. Eggman gulped. "L-looked, Im sorry ok, just g-go easy on me" he begged. "I-Ill turn over a new leaf I swear, I didnt mean to do any of that stuff, just give me a chance!" He was now on his knees.

"Well this is new" Sonic grinned. "Well Egghead, if you played nice, I wouldnt have broken all your toys"."

Let's start with a). Paragraphs with quotations are small, unless a character goes on a very long uninterrupted tirade (examples would take WAY too much space). I don't recommend such writing in creative text, because it is acceptable for long philosophies or general monotone. Normally, a writer turns a speech that is too long into a narrative or put commentary to break the paragraphs into smaller parts and describe the changes in tone or stance.

Also, the fundamental rule: NO MORE THAN ONE SPEAKER PER PARAGRAPH.

This enables the reader to visually understand where a character stops speaking and to switch to new information clearly on the next paragraph. Were two people conversing within a single paragraph, you would have the brick I've covered earlier. The author of the example above made another paragraph for Sonic, the second speaker. It looks like this:

"Well this is new" Sonic grinned. "Well Egghead, if you played nice, I wouldnt have broken all your toys"."

Let's not pick on repetitions, grammar and general originality of this excerpt. Notice how this speaker is given one paragraph, while there are two speeches. This is acceptable.

Often, you will have to interrupt a long speech with some comments to describe the way something is said or to make a pause. When the pause in time is NOT long, two separate speeches can be placed in one paragraph. This puts them closer sense-wise and lets the reader relate the two (or three).

I do NOT suggest using more than three separate quotations from the same person in a single paragraph. Often, it is necessary for more actions to come between speeches and it's becoming a brick if you spend too much time on uni-paragraph talking. Sometimes it's useful to create a physical response to the words, thus creating more parts. It could be a nod or a grin from another character. Even surroundings might interrupt prolonged speeches.

How small should a quote paragraph be? Such a part usually has the speech itself with ( b) Comments) two versions of commentary. The first version comes before the quotation, whilst the second - follows. Quotation paragraphs describe what is said and how it is said. No more, no less (with certain exceptions).

I would not recommend writing more than three sentences connected to the quotation (from the end). The huge paragraph in the example would have to be cut, as most of it does NOT describe how the character speaks nor does it cover an closely-related reaction (that is the exception).

"Oh no, time to get away!" Eggman cried as he went aboard his hover seat, running away from the all powerful hedgehog, though he followed after him." Is all the writer should have left. Well, less actually. That sentence is a sneaky run-on that tries to connect with the rest. Some authors would put enormous sentences as commentary, such as: 'Eggman cried, and jumped to dodge Sonic's attack, who was heading straight at him with a homing attack ready.' Too much information.

""Oh no, time to get away!" Eggman cried." is perfectly simple and suitable. This is a second version with a single sentence.

He frowned at the hedgehog. "Oh no, time to get away!" Eggman cried. is a longer variation.

He frowned at the hedgehog, clenching both fists. "Oh no, time to get away!" Eggman cried in a high-pitched tone, but a cough prevented him from saying more. is even longer. Notice how everything is related in time or space to speech.

What are the perks of comments before or after the quotation? Commentary before a quote lets the reader get ready for a particular tone (like the upside-down question or exclamation mark in Spanish) and understand the speech better. Though, if you comment after the quotation, the words are visually easier to identify. A paragraph that starts with a quotation is generally easier to read. Try variety!

Exceptions in comments. You don't always have to comment a speech. Sometimes it's just obvious, especially when two people are screaming at each other. When there are only two people conversing, it's good to add an explanation of who is speaking only once-in-a-while. This shortens the amount of time needed for lighter conversations. With three and more people involved, you should comment everything that the reader could potentially credit to a different character.

The further we go, the more exceptions we see. Don't worry, there are examples from actual published books below, so you'll see it done by professionals.

Let's cover c) and d) together, as they are often closely related.

Have an imaginary example: "I will kill him, her, your mother, and myself," he said, "and that's not all!" (or "I will kill him, her, your mother, and myself," he said, grinning threateningly. "That's not all!")

Notice that there is NO PERIOD after the quotation. Periods are replaced by commas when a comment follows. The comment does NOT have a capital. Same applies to the following:

"I will kill him, her, your mother, and myself!" he yelled.

"I will kill him, her, your mother, and myself?" he asked.

"I will kill him, her, your mother, and myself," Shadow said.

Now, the same, with a comment at front.

Shadow said: "I will kill him, her, your mother, and myself."

Shadow glared at the audience. "He will kill him, her, your mother, and myself!"

See the capital 'He'? That's the way you can use.

Now, don't forget English is a very liberal language when it comes to tiny rules. Some of them are merely recommendations. (Should you wish to find utterly complex issues, try em and en-dashes or double-spacing and double titles.)

Shadow glared at the audience. "He will kill him, her, your mother, and myself!"

Notice the visual and semantic appearance. The first sentence is a lot more detached from the quote. You can even imagine that there was a pause between the glare and the words. Now, let's deal with a double quotation to see what can go where.

"This is new," Sonic grinned. He walked up to the doctor, alert as always. "Well Egghead, if you played nice, I wouldn't have broken all your toys," the hedgehog gloated, winking at Robotnik. (mind you, the name is not Robotnic nor Robotnick)

Notice how the final comment is always attached to the sentence, while the first version allows you more freedom of choice, giving you a timeframe for activity.

6. Thoughts. Some of you must have questions on how to portray thoughts. Let me tell you that doing the I think he's good or 'I think he's good' is bad for you. Italics are used primarily for emphasis and titles. Single quotations are used for a quote inside a quote.

Authors tend to narrate thoughts similar to speech, which means:

Watermelon is tasty, he thought.

Yes, a thought is treated just like speech with separate paragraph and other routines. The difference is that there are no quotation marks (you will find an example of a thought below, bolded for you). I must point out that published classicists rarely put thoughts in raw format. Usually, they are incorporated into narration as reported speech or description.

Now that you've gotten the basics, let's quote a few books to see authors exercise these liberal rights with typical sentence constructions and dialogue description.

EXAMPLES

Here are a few by Oscar Wilde from The Picture of Dorian Gray:

"It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have ever done," said Lord Henry languidly.

"Harry!" exclaimed Hallward, frowning. (most is done in the back)

"Dorian," he said, "my letter-don't be frightened-was to tell you that Sibyl Vane
is dead." (double-comma interruption)

'"She will never come to life again now," muttered the lad, burying his face in his hands.

The head-keeper came running up with a stick in his hand.

"Where, sir? Where is he?" he shouted. At the same time, the firing ceased along the line.' (long comment; separated action; sentence related in time)

"The world goes to the altar of its own accord," was the answer. (using 'was' instead of 'said')

"What is that?"

"Disillusion."

"It was my debut in life," she sighed.' (no descriptions; little need for comments)

Georgette Heyer, Lady of Quality

'She looked amused at this. "Certainly I am Miss Wychwood. You must forgive me if I ask you why you should doubt it?"

And if that doesn't make you apologize for your incivility, nothing will! she thought, waiting expectantly.

"Because you're by far too young, of course!" he replied, disappointing her. "I came here in the expectation of meeting an elderly woman—or, at least, one of reasonable age!"' (see the middle paragraph for thought rendering)

He flushed darkly, tried to meet the challenge in her eyes, looked away, and replied, with a sheepish grin: "Well—yes! But," he said, making another recover, "I knew Papa would approve of my choice, and he did!" (classic clunky reply of :" ; double-quote with an interruption.)

"Well, that's good news, at all events!" said Miss Wychwood. "I collect he is now relieved of his pain, for I heard no screams of anguish when I entered the house." (comment with a period before the next quote)

He shook his head. "Ah, she is never one to complain of feeling out of sorts" (detached with a period)

Lady Wychwood was moved to put an arm round her, and to give her a slight hug. "I know how hard it is for you, dear child," she said sympathetically. (before and after - comments [see how periods are more popular at front])

Herman Hesse Demian

He scrutinized my face and said: "You've grown, Sinclair." He himself seemed quite the same, as old or as young as ever. (related comment in the end with period)

"My dear Sinclair," he said slowly, "I didn't intend to tell you anything disagreeable." (notice how it's popular to interrupt after a greeting)

That should be enough for now. If you find any errors, irregularities or parts of my essay are confusing, do contact me at FanFiction.Net as Lord Kelvin.